Gloomy Day for the Haji Jaafar's Family

Yesterday, Allah took my Aunty, Mak Ngah (Hjh. Aishah binti Jaafar).

This picture was taken in 2008 during our family day at Fraser's Hills. 

At first, I was inclined to write something about her.... then, I suddenly realized, that I am more concerned about us, who need to continue living and get use to losing the ones dearest to us.

I start to imagine how Pak Ngah feels. Perhaps, partly relieved that Mak Ngah's battle with cancer is finally over...and partly, anguish and hurt, when he lays down in bed to see the empty space next to him.

Mak Long, Mak Ngah's eldest sister lost her husband, Pak Long Raya, about a decade ago, and how she copes with life after he's gone, the loneliness, the emptiness..... takes amazing inner strength and courage.

It's unfortunate, for us who are still on this earth, that we have to continue to struggle in a world of sin. A world full of temptations that comes to us in the most subtle of ways and on every side.

No... I am not suicidal. Just in a melancholy mood. Losing a loved one, knocks me on the head, and for a while I see the world clearly. The shallowness of worldly things, and the filthiness of my worldly existence. 

I love Mak Ngah and Pak Long, and I will miss them sorely, as I will my father and my mother. But, what can I say about them that we don't already know? They've made it.... They are in a better place. 

I told Uncle Sham, while we sat outside the room where Mak Ngah are being bathed, that Tok Aki and Tok Wan are probably waiting for her now in heaven. Yes, I believe that, too. And what a lovely moment it is, to see them together again. And, how happy would they be to be together again. And, I imagine, next to Tok Wan and Tok Aki and Pak Long stood welcoming Mak Ngah... 

Selamat Datang... 

Ahla wa sahlan...

Makes me want to be there....