I Am Still Breathing and Moving on The Turbulence of Life on Earth

Last week was the first week of me at CIMB Bank Bukit Tinggi Klang. Although it is the same company but the circle of people inside it is totally different. I met different people with different characters which I had to start all over again just like how I did when I was at Shah Alam Auto Finance Center.

Well, the job scope being a marketing executive of this august bank is getting more challenging as my dealers are now hovering from Klang Town, Klang Pandamaran, Telok Panglima Garang and Banting. But I am thankful to God for giving me this job, something I like to do since then as I love meeting people.

Albeit of me being happy with my new workplace at Bukit Tinggi Klang, but at the same time too I am saddened with the incidents that had left a deep scars inside me; house break-in and wife met with accident. Although we survived these trial-some incidents but as of today, I am still shocked and saddened with the happenings. But maybe God has better plans for both my wife and I hence He gives us these trials for us to be stronger and bolder in the future. I believe and have faith in Him that He has always being there for me when I need Him the most. But hey, I am a human being, I have feelings and I am disgusted with the people who broke into my house and also saddened to all happenings around me, why it is not as smooth as other people?

Sometimes I wonder why me not other people who have to go through these turbulence? I am having a happy life with my beloved wife although we are yet to be pronounce as parents not even in the near future; but to some extend, questions thrown by people towards my wife and I can be hurtful and offensive hence I made up my mind not to meet anybody for now because I have to take care two hearts that beat in my soul; my wife and I. I am happy with my friends and relatives who will be pronounced as parents very soon in their life but all questions thrown at both of us somehow made our heart shattered into pieces and I decided not to attend any events for now because I need to take care of my heart and her heart. I feel better and calm when she is with me without having the need to worry about all the bonus questions. Maybe they are just curious or concern but then, in our heart, no body knows about it. 

I have always admired my all time favorite artist, Tan Sri P Ramlee and his wife Puan Sri Saloma whom stayed composed throughout their life until death that separated them for 10 years. Although they were not blessed with even one child but they lived happily ever after until their death which left behind a very big scars to the filming industry in Malaysia as they were irreplaceable. I admired how they stayed composed without children running around their sides but all adopted ones and yet they were such a loving couple. I wish that my marriage with my wife will be just like P Ramlee and Saloma, true love until death. Now I am beginning to learn how people set him aside and let him alone passing through the turbulence of life with his wife. Ohhh, he was an indeed strong man and I wish I am as strong as he was. But when he ended his journey full with laughter and tears on 29 May 1973, then only people started to remember him and think what they had done to him.... *tears started dripping* Am I going through the same thing like him now? Am I that strong to face all odds in life? Will I be set aside by people just like how they treated P Ramlee? *Very sad mode*.  Perhaps my wife and I are going through the same situation that they used to once upon a time.

Although I am still breathing and moving on the turbulence of life, I still search for the light at the end of the tunnel. I am moving in a very dark tunnel, don't know where to go but I believe that Allah is with me all the time as I continue to move on what remains for me on this earth. *Tears dripping again* If this has been fated by Him, I accept it with all my heart and I will continue to move on the life's remain until the time has come for me to go and sit next to Him. To all people out there, I understand your curiosities but please, your curiosities are somehow killing us silently. When the time comes, Insya-Allah (God's Willing), all your curiosities will be answered. I will continue to move on what's left for me on this earth. Insya-Allah.......

Have a nice day ahead and owh, goodbye Sunday and hello Monday morning blues.... 

-Fadhil Zhafri-

0013 hrs

Shah Alam