The Monolog..........

While waiting for my eyes to call off the day, I am writing again tonight. I don't know why but I am filled with high level of enthusiasm to write a monolog, a monolog of a man hanging tight against the turbulence of life that not only him but everyone in this whole wide world. The monolog of all challenges he had to face but some other did not.

 Deeply in his heart he is jealous over other peoples' happiness whilst he did not seem to experience the happiness. Although he is blessed with a lovely, supportive wife but still he felt something's amiss to complete the happiness for both of them. He had once bu

mped into this couple, which the husband bought a BMW 3 series for his beloved wife during their anniversary; he wondered, is this the sign of happiness, when one have money? Thence, he began to perceive that money cannot buy happiness is a complete mythology. He could imagine how happy the wife was moment the husband bought her a BMW 3 series on their anniversary. She is one lucky woman to have a rich and loving husband, how he wished that he could give his wife that kind of lifestyle. He envied those happy couples, but then, he counted my blessings and Praise be with Him for giving him a complete life; life being a husband to his wife. 

    

He had once failed in his life to be a good friend. His intention was good but others looked at him like some kind of freak that made them to set a barrier from befriending him. He used to do everything on his own because no one wanted to take him in their groups because afraid that he would overshadow them if they let him in. This happened during his university year. Because he was completely different than others and lots of lecturers liked him, they thought that he was showing off and began to gossiping around saying all those bad things about him, but they did not realize that their acts had eventually causing him to be deeply depressed. Deeply depressed, he kept quiet until one stage when he was bashed up at the hostel he used to stay, NO MORE MR NICE GUY. He went out from the college and stayed elsewhere. He kept on wondering why must he went through this turbulence whereby others did not? Was it bad to be different than others? He was mentally hurt that he erased all the good memories he had when he was there. I cried moment I heard his story, he was such a strong and will powered man.

He also failed to be a good employee to his employer. He wanted to show that he is reliable on the work field but the other party did not. He was in fact perceived as a threat to some colleagues because he has the capability to be a leader inside the organization and the only way that they could do was to stop him from climbing up the ladder of success. This was where the turbulence became immense and greater, they seek for his faults and blaming him for all the faults done. He was badly banged during meetings and those clerks did not respect him at all. He was severely hurt and felt that everything was crumbling on him, he only saw one big word "LOSER!" on his head. He cried and cried why should he be undergoing this turbulence? to him why him not other people? He loved the company so much but when no one respected him and kept on pressuring him forced him to leave the august company. Prior to him leaving the august company he joined a not so august organization and they did not treat him well too. Everyone said that it was his attitude that made people did not like him but I see nothing was wrong with the attitude but it was the people around him that made him look bad; they thought that they were the best amongst all and most perfect! 

After all turbulence that he had gone through, he tried his level best to be an outstanding person; a loving and responsible husband but it all met with failures, a good employee with good track records but still no results. Thanks to those in the past for making him like this today, and already saw their motives, it was  all jealousy and irritation deep in their hearts, how stink they were. He became inferiority complex, something that he did not have in the past and he did not want to see anyone because he felt that he lose in the battle to be a good person. He felt that the world is crumbling on him whilst others don't. He also wanted to be just like others but he accepted his faith and will move on and on. 

I am very impressed with this story as it tells one how cruel this world can be. People wont see you if did all good deeds but because of one stupid foolish points that he went wrong, people will keep on talking about his bad deeds for ages or maybe until that person die. He wanted to be a successful person, having good jobs, good cars, good wife and every thing that show their level or hierarchy. I hoped that he will stay strong and move on gracefully against the turbulence. Mr, you are one strong guy and I know that you are able to do it. Just prove to them that he can do it even better and banged them back for making his life a miserable ones. 

-Fadhil Zhafri-
0039 hrs
Shah Alam